No post for today! Been trying to teach myself digital painting with Krita. Nothing good enough for general consumption yet! Because… like, digital painting is HARD or something. It’s… like, super weird. Fo’ shizzle.
I may have just marathoned the entire Twilight series in TWO DAYS.
I ENVY THE DEAD.
Ah, yes, Abandoned By Disney, or, as it’s otherwise known, The “Oswald The Lucky Rabbit” Story.
Previously, on Abandoned By Disney: Disney, after a bout of racism, abandoned a resort to be swallowed up by the jungle, and our narrator has decided to poke around it’s corpse! Evidently, survival instincts are more of a Pixar thing.
“The gates were open enough to walk through, but not drive, so grabbing my digital camera and the map, whose flip-side showed a layout of the resort, I set off on foot.”
This is shaping up to be one damn fine sequel to Outlast.
“The inner grounds of the place were just as overgrown as the entryway. Palm tree stood untended and ragged among piles of their own coconuts. Banana plants similarly stood in their own stinking, bug-riddled refuse. “
Dammit, you’re making you’re hungry.
“There was this sort of clash between order and chaos, as carefully planted rows of perennial flowers mixed with obnoxious tall weeds and stinking, blackened mushrooms.”
Oh, no, it was like that to begin with. The flowers are new, though.
“All that remained of any outdoor structures were broken, rotting wood and various charred bits of unidentifiable material. What was most likely an information booth or an outdoor bar was now simply a pile of assorted debris chopped up by past vandalism and ravaged by weather.”
Wait wait wait, an outdoor bar? When you wish upon a star, you apparently pour it into a fucking shot glass.
“The most interesting thing on the grounds was a statue of Baloo, the friendly bear from the Jungle Book, which stood in a sort of courtyard in front of the main building.”
‘… While juggling.’
“He was frozen in a jovial wave toward no one, staring into empty space with a silly, toothy grin as bird shit covered whole swaths of his “fur” and vines ensnared his platform.”
Ah, yes, the Poison Ivy/Jungle Book cross-over that the… world was clamoring for?
“I approached the main building – the PALACE – only to find the outside of the building covered in graffiti where the original paint hadn’t peeled and chipped away. The front doors weren’t just open, they had been taken off their hinges and were stolen.”
“Above the front doors, or the gaping maw where they had been, someone had once again painted “ABANDONED BY DISNEY”.”
Not the resort, mind, just… you know, the doors. They were lonely.
“I wish I could tell you about all the awesome stuff I saw inside the Palace. Forgotten statues, abandoned cash registers, a full-fledged secret society of homeless bums… but no.”
Well, yeah, that would be interesting.
“The inside of the building was so stark, so bare, that I actually think people had stolen the molding off the walls. Anything that was too big to steal… counters, desks, giant fake trees… they were all resting amid this empty echo chamber that amplified my every step like a slow rat-a-tat of a machine gun.”
‘Either that, or it was the machine gun I was firing the entire time.’
“I checked the floorplan and headed to all the locations that might seem in any way interesting. The kitchen was as you’d imagine… an industrial food prep area with all the appliances and space, no expenses spared.”
… Yes, they stole the molding, but not an industrial kitchen.
“Every glass surface was broken, every door knocked off its hinges, every metal surface kicked and dented. The entire place smelled like very old piss.”
And they didn’t even steal the old piss?! Man, do you have any idea the market value on old piss?!
“The huge freezer, not even remotely cool now, had row upon row of empty shelf space. Hooks hung from the ceiling, probably for hanging cuts of meat, and as I stood inside for a moment, I noticed they were swinging.”
Ladies and gentlemen, we have… our first supernatural occurrence! Big round of applause, big round of applause, everybody.
Oh gee, I should try and learn how to paint digitally.
Two hours later.
Why is everything on fire. How did this happen. I don’t understand how those two things are related.
i had work i had to do today
but i was tired
so i needed some boost
so i drank a pepsi
and then another
and then another
i have subsisted entirely on caffeine for twenty four hours
i can see through time